Facebook Madness!
by Disaster088
Summary: Naruto characters on Facebook! Ridiculous! A series of oneshots, with the Naruto cast using Facebook. Rated M for language, and implied sexual situations. Random pairings in different chapters. I'm open to suggestions for chapter themes!
1. Facebook Madness!

**Chapter One: Facebook Madness!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or Facebook. Right? Right.**

**Author's Note: I'm thinking about making a few different 'madness' stories.**

* * *

**Orochimaru The Snake **is anxiously awaiting Sasuke's arrival.

**Kabuto Yakushi likes this.**

**Sasuke Uchiha **has no intentions of going to Pedophile-sama's house.

**Kakashi Hatake, Sakura Haruno, and two others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Sasuke.. You wound me. I thought we were having a play date!D:

**Sasuke Uchiha: **No.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Ew Pedo-sama!

* * *

**Hinata Hyuga **is trying to stop herself from fainting. Blush.

**Ino Yamanaka, TenTen No Last Name, and three others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Neji Hyuga: **Naruto, get away from my cousin, or die.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I was just asking if she wanted to go get some Ramen!:O

**Hinata Hyuga: **I-I'd love too, Naruto..

**Neji Hyuga: **Touch my cousin and you die, idiot.

**Hinata Hyuga: **D-Don't listen to him, Naruto..

**Tenten No Last Name: **Leave them alone, Neji. I need you to assist me in my bed room..;)

**Neji Hyuga: **On my way.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I'm scarred..

**Hinata Hyuga: **Faints..

* * *

**Sakura Haruno **is wondering how someone can stutter on the internet..

**Sasuke Uchiha and Kiba Inuzuka like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sakura Haruno: **Sasuke, wanna go on a date?!:D

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn.

**Sakura Haruno: **Really?!:D :D

**Sasuke Uchiha: **No.

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Lawl!

* * *

**Sakura Haruno **is crying.

**Sasuke Uchiha likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Sasuke Uchiha: **How surprising.

* * *

**Itachi Uchiha posted on Sasuke Uchiha's wall:**

Foolish Little Brother, you'll never be able to make a new Uchiha if you keep trolling fan girls.

**Fugaku Uchiha, Mikoto Uchiha, and three others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sasuke Uchiha: **You mad?

**Itachi Uchiha: **No, I'm simply trying to help you complete your goals.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn. You mad?

**Itachi Uchiha: **We already established that I'm not mad, I'm just trying to help you. You should find a suitable girl.

**Karin Uchiha: **Hi, suitable girl here. Like, ohmigosh. I'm sooo suitable.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **You mad, bro?

**Itachi Uchiha: **You're not going to get too me, Sasuke. Who is this Karin? She seems suitable enough, albeit a little slutty.

**Karin Uchiha: **Thank you, Sasuke's sexy older brother! Wanna hang out?;)

**Itachi Uchiha: **I withdraw my statement. Die, fan girl.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **So.. You mad bro?

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **He's mad bro.

**Kiba Inuzuka: **You sure bro?

**Shikamaru Nara: **Troublesome.. He's clearly mad.

**Itachi Uchiha: **I hate you all.

**Sasuke Uchiha, Kiba Inuzuka, and fourteen others like this comment.**

* * *

**Kakashi Hatake **has just found out Icha Icha Paradise is based on his students, and would like a live demonstration. **With- Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, and Sakura Haruno.**

**Jiraiya The Perverted Master likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Itachi Uchiha: **Stay the hell away from my little brother.

**Kakashi Hatake: **Winks.

**Sakura Haruno: **Um.. This is a joke.. Right..?

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I'll help you Kakashi-sensei! What do you need me to do?

**Kakashi Hatake: **Well, Naruto.. Meet me at the bridge tonight, around midnight. Don't be late, cos I know I won't..^^

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Don't do it, idiot.

**Sakura Haruno: **Naruto, no!

**Orochimaru The Snake: **May I come to observe, and take notes on Sasuke's body?

**Kakashi Hatake: **Permission granted. Kinky.

**Anko Hates Snake: **KAKASHI! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TOUCH ME LATER!D:

**Kakashi Hatake: **That will have to wait. Naruto, knock out Sasuke and Sakura and bring them along, we'll figure something out when they wake up.;D

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Got it Kakashi-sensei! We'll be there, believe it!

* * *

**The next morning..**

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, and Sakura are now a love triangle.**

**Everyone likes this, because they saw it coming.**

* * *

**Author's Note: Lol, I think this is pretty funny.**


	2. Facebook Madness! Akatsuki Style!

**Chapter Two: Facebook Madness! Akatsuki Style!**

**Disclaimer: Who owns Naruto? Not I, said the author. Not I.**

**Author's Note: Art is a bang, yeah. ….. Fuck off, Deidara.**

* * *

**Email: FoolishLittleBrotherIsFoolis h72**

**Password: SecretlyLovingTheVillage81**

**Log In.**

**Newsfeed:**

**Hidan JashinIsEternal is in a relationship with Kakuzu GetDatMoney**

**Itachi Uchiha, Tobi Is A Good Boy, and sixteen others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sasori Akasuna: **Called it.

**Itachi Uchiha: **Damn, I'll bring the ten bucks.

**Tobi Is A Good Boy:** Tobi doesn't understand!

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Don't worry about it Tobi, yeah. So Danna really won the bet? Damn. I own him ten too then, un.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **THE FUCK?! I BELONG TO JASHIN-SAMA YOU SICK FUCK! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU KAKUZU?!

**Itachi Uchiha: **Hidan, you have caps lock on.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **I FUCKING KNOW THAT UCHIHA! I KNEW KAKUZU WAS GAY, BUT I DIDN'T THINK HE'D HACK MY FUCKING PROFILE!

**Sasori Akasuna: **Hidan, it's all out in the open now. It's quite alright.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **It's okay, yeah. We expected this anyway.

**Kakuzu GetDatMoney: **Hidan, shut up. It was Zetsu.

**Zetsu Isn'tAPlant: **Snickers.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU PLANT BOY!

**Itachi Uchiha: **Hidan?

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **WHAT!

**Itachi Uchiha: **Why haven't you removed the relationship with Kakuzu?

**Sasori Akasuna: **Lol.

* * *

**Hidan JashinIsEternal and Kakuzu GetDatMoney are no longer in a relationship.**

**Konan PaperAngel, Pein Is A God, and four others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Zetsu Isn'tAPlant: **This ruins everything. It was such a good plan, too.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal:** FUCK OFF ZETSU!

* * *

**Konan PaperAngel and Sasuke Uchiha are now friends.**

**Itachi Uchiha, Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki, and five others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Oh shit, bastard. YOU BOUT TO HIT IT UP?!

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **He's bout to get it innnnnn!;D

**Itachi Uchiha: **Konan, you and my foolish little brother are going out?

**Pein Is A God: **No, they're not. Cos God says so.

**Konan PaperAngel: **No. He was cute, so I added him. Blush..

**Pein Is A God: **Konan! God commands you to stop blushing!

**Itachi Uchiha: **How do you know she's blushing?

**Pein Is A God: **GOD KNOWS ALL, ITACHI!

**Konan PaperAngel: **He's at my house.

**Sasori Akasuna: **That makes sense.

**Pein Is A God: **No, even if I wasn't here. I'd know. Konan is mine, younger Uchiha.

**Konan PaperAngel: **Not once have you ever shown interest in me..:( I just added a cute boy, I haven't even talked to him.. yet..

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **HA! Laterrrrrr Pein-sama! Sasuke's bout to get it in!

**Pein Is A God: **Very well. Konan, would you like to go out on a date with me?

**Konan PaperAngel: **Sure!:D Where are we going?

**Pein Is A God:** To run some errands..

**Sasuke Uchiha: **How interesting.

**Pein Is A God: **Isn't it? See, even the "cute" younger Uchiha thinks it sounds exciting.

**Sasori Akasuna: **Facepalm..

**Itachi Uchiha: **Foolish little brother, are you going to get it in?

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Hell yeah, un! Get it innnnn!

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Hit it uppppp!;-)

**Pein Is A God: **There won't be any getting anything in! Where has Konan gone too?

**Fours hours later.**

**Konan PaperAngel: **Nagato?

**Pein Is A God: **Yes, Konan?

**Konan PaperAngel: **He got it innnnn!;)

**Sasori Akasuna: **Lol!

**Itachi Uchiha: **Indeed he did. It was the most disturbing thing I've ever heard, I'm scarred.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **You should've left. You knew what was going on. You mad?

**Itachi Uchiha: **I'm signing off.

**Konan PaperAngel: **Nagato? Where'd you go?

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Tch. There's some weird guy with orange hair at my door. He's holding a gun, how terrifying.

**Konan PaperAngel: **Sasuke! Don't go near the door!

**Thirty minutes later.**

**Pein Is A God: **The bullet sure got it in.

**Author's Note: Lol, bye **


	3. Facebook Madness! Sand and Leaf!

**Chapter Three: Facebook Madness! Sand and Leaf Addition!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and Facebook aren't mine. I'd be rich.**

**Author's Note: So like, this is entertaining.**

* * *

**Temari Loves Fans **is pissed off at Shikamaru.

**Gaara Of The Sand, Ino Yamanaka, and two others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Ino Yamanaka: **Ugh, what'd he do now?

**Shikamaru Nara: **I did nothing, how troublesome.

**Temari Loves Fans: **He took me to look at clouds! He told me we were going on a date!

**Ino Yamanaka: **Should've raped him.. I know I did.;)

**Temari Loves Fans: **What..? He told me he was a virgin..

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Discussing sex in public, how appropriate.

**Ino Yamanaka: **A virgin..? Damn, he wanted you that bad?

**Kiba Inuzuka: **He got it innnnn!;D

**Hinata Hyuga: **K-Kiba.. Don't be rude..

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Kay.

**Ino Yamanaka: **Whipped.

**Kiba Inuzuka: **…..:/

**Gaara Of The Sand: **If Nara lays a hand on my sister, I'll kill him.

**Shikamaru Nara: **Um..

**Ino Yamanaka: **It's too late!;) Now Gaara, you're pretty, ya know. Wanna hang out..?

**Gaara Of The Sand: **No. Shikamaru, you're dead.

**Temari Loves Fans: **Don't worry Gaara, I'm already at his house.:D

**Shikamaru Nara: **What are you doing with that pole..?

**Temari Loves Fans: **You know how Sasuke acts like he has a stick up his ass? Well...(:

**Shikamaru Nara: **…. This is worse than troublesome.

**Chouji Likes Chips: **Shikamaru, run!

**Gaara Of The Sand: **Too late. My sand eye saw it all happen. It was quite disturbing. Good job, Temari.

**Ino Yamanaka: **So.. Is Shika dead..?D:

**Temari Loves Fans: **No, but he's screaming "troublesome" at the top of his lungs. That was not an easy task, mind you.^^

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Yo Temari, I'm really happy for you, and ima let you finish, but.. Gaara has a sand eye?

* * *

**Kankuro PuppetMaster **is looking for a human to make his puppet..;)

**Jiraiya The Perverted Master likes this.**

**Comments: **

**Sasori Akasuna: **Still stealing my idea's, I see.

**Kankuro PuppetMaster: **No, I mean like.. A girl to be my.. puppet.. Ya know, like.. puppet..

**Sasori Akasuna: **Oh, carry on then.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I don't get it. Why do you wanna make one of your creepy ass puppets out of a human?

**Orochimaru The Snake: **I missed you, Sasori.;) Naruto honey, he means he wants a real boy.:D

**Sasori Akasuna: **Fuck off, pedophile.

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Is that any way to talk to your old partner?D:

**Sasori Akasuna: **Partner? We were paired up in Biology, get over it.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I still don't understand..

**Kakashi Hatake: **He means someone who will have sex with him, Naruto. How dense are you?

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I thought that's what the puppets were for, anyway..?O.o

**Kankuro PuppetMaster: **I hate you.

* * *

**Gaara Of The Sand **is looking for a new friend, who wouldn't mind death threats on a regular basis.

**Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, and one other like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sakura Haruno: **Look no further!

**Gaara Of The Sand: **It wouldn't bother you?

**Sakura Haruno: **Nope, I hang out with Sasuke! I thought you hated everyone, though?

**Gaara Of The Sand: **Naruto made me realize that friends are important.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I did..? Believe it!:D

**Rock Lee: **It is most unyouthful how you discovered this a week after beating me to a bloody pulp for complimenting your most youthful lack of eyebrows..

**Gaara Of The Sand: **Yeah.

**Temari Loves Fans: **Gaara!

**Gaara Of The Sand: **Right. Sorry about that.

**Rock Lee: **Go to hell, and burn in the youthful flames. You ruined my life.

**Gaara Of The Sand: **This is why apologies are useless.

**Sakura Haruno: **Gaara, don't say that. Apologies are very helpful.(:

**Gaara Of The Sand: **Don't disagree with me. I'll kill you.

**Sakura Haruno: **Haha. So that's why you said that. I'm just saying, apologies are good! Ya know?

**Gaara Of The Sand:** I really will kill you.

**Sakura Haruno: **xD

**Temari Loves Fans: **You should stop..

**Sakura Haruno: **Nah, me and Gaara are friends now! He probably loves me already!:D

**Gaara Of The Sand: **I'll be at your house in five minutes.

**Sakura Haruno: **To hang out? See, we're already close!^^

**Gaara Of The Sand: **No, to kill you.

**Temari Loves Fans: **Sakura, you should hide somewhere far away for a while..

**Sakura Haruno: **Nope! I'm gonna give him a big hug when he gets here! Oh, someone's at the door! Be right back!

**Three Days Later..**

**Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, and four hundred seventy two others are attending the event:**

**Sakura Haruno's Funeral./3**

* * *

**Author's Note: Lol, don't mess with Gaara.**


	4. Facebook Madness! Ghosts!

**Chapter Four: Facebook Madness! Ghosts?!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor do I own Facebook. K, thanks.**

**Author's Note: So.. Yeah!**

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha **is being haunted by Madara Uchiha.

**Tobi Is A Good Boy, Itachi Uchiha, and fourteen others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Itachi Uchiha: **Foolish Little Brother, I already checked under your bed.. Madara is not haunting you.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Tch, as soon as you left he came out from under it..

**Karin Uchiha: **I'll save you Sasuke! I'll be there right away! We'll cuddle your troubles away!;)

**Sasuke Uchiha: **I'll take my chances with Madara before I'll allow that.

**Karin Uchiha: **I love it when he plays hard to get.(:

**Itachi Uchiha: **Fan girl, stop fan girling and change your last name, it's disgraceful. Sasuke, do you need to see a counselor? Maybe you have schizophrenia?

**Mikoto Uchiha: **Itachi leave your brother alone! Sasuke, would you like Mommy to read you a story and bring you a warm glass of milk?

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn.

**Mikoto Uchiha: **I'll be up there shortly. Mommy will make all the fan girls and Madara's disappear.

**Karin Uchiha: **Oh, I'm not a fan girl future mother in law! I'm Sasuke's girlfriend!

**Fugaku Uchiha: **That is blasphemous. My son does not dates sluts.

**Naruto Uzumaki: **Lol! Owned by Daddy Uchiha!

**Fugaku Uchiha: **What is this "owned" you speak of?

* * *

**Itachi Uchiha **thinks his foolish little brother is a momma's boy and that parents shouldn't have Facebooks.

**Fugaku Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, and ten others like this.**

**Comments: **

**Fugaku Uchiha: **I agree. Dad is always on my ass.

**Itachi Uchiha: **Facepalms..

**Mikoto Uchiha: **Sasuke is not a momma's boy! You delete this right this instant Itachi Uchiha!

**Itachi Uchiha: **You breastfed him until the age of ten. He's a momma's boy, and a disgrace to the Uchiha.

**Fugaku Uchiha and Madara Uchiha like this comment.**

**Fugaku Uchiha: **Mikoto, what's a face palm? It sounds like an exotic tree. Can we get one?

**Itachi Uchiha: **Madara Uchiha? I thought he was dead?

**Sasuke Uchiha: **I fucking told you so.

**Itachi Uchiha: **Hn.

* * *

**Naruto Uzumaki **is excited cos he has new blackmail on Sasuke! He's a Momma's boy, believe it!

**Sakura Haruno, Itachi Uchiha, and twenty four others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sasuke Uchiha: **I'll kill you, loser.

**Sakura Haruno: **Awwww!:-D Sasuke, that's so cute! I'll be your mother!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **How disturbing.

**Sakura Haruno: **I just mean like.. I'll take care of you, babe.(:

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Still disturbing.

**Ino Yamanaka: **Back the hell off, forehead! If he's drinking anyone's breast milk it's mine!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **You make me wish I was dead. Naruto, I'm going to fucking murder you, as soon as I get done with Itachi.

**Ino Yamanaka: **I take that as a compliment, cos I'm drop dead sexy!;P

**Sakura Haruno: **Yeah right, Ino-pig.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I'm going to die of laughter before Sasuke gets around to killing me.. He's afraid of ghosts, and he's a Momma's boy! Lolololo!

* * *

**Pein Is A God likes the page: Detailed explanation of Madara's plan to take over the World.**

**Kakashi Hatake, Minato Namikaze, and twenty others like this.**

**Comments: **

**Kakashi Hatake: **Well, this makes it easier to stop his plans.

**Minato Namikaze: **Yes, yes it does.

**Kakashi Hatake: **Minato, you came back to life?

**Minato Namikaze: **Hell yeah. Everyone else was doing it, so why not?

**Madara Uchiha: **Pein, you're fired, and I'm killing whoever made that page. Damn you Facebook.

* * *

**Madara Uchiha posted on Sasuke Uchiha's wall:**

I am alive, but I'm not under your bed.

**Itachi Uchiha likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Then who is?

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Peek-A-Boo Sasuke-Kunnnn!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Oh shit.

* * *

**Itachi Uchiha **is happy because Pedophile-sama has abducted his foolish little brother. He was screaming for his Mom all the way out the door. Too bad Father held her back so Sasuke wouldn't be around to whine anymore. We can now dispose of all the tomatoes. **-With Sasuke Uchiha, Fugaku Uchiha, and Mikoto Uchiha.**

**Fugaku Uchiha, Madara Uchiha, and two others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Mikoto Uchiha: **Itachi, you're grounded.

**Itachi Uchiha: **How unfortunate.

* * *

**Author's Note: This is like, an Uchiha family **


	5. Facebook Madness! Where's Akamaru!

**Chapter Five: Facebook Madness! Where's Akamaru?!**

**Disclaimer: No ownership of Naruto is mine.**

**Author's Note: New idea's for this just keep coming. It's odd, seeing how I'm having a lot of trouble updating my other stories. O.o**

* * *

**Kiba Inuzuka **is completely miserable, cos Akamaru ran away..:(

**Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, and five others like this.**

**Comments: **

**Kiba Inuzuka:** How could you like this..? My best friends gone!

**Hinata Hyuga: **K-Kiba.. We can get you a new dog..?

**Kiba Inuzuka: **I don't want a new dog! Akamaru was my life!

**Hinata Hyuga: **A h-huskey, maybe?

**Kiba Inuzuka: **No!

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **How bout a lab? Those are awesome, believe it!

**Kiba Inuzuka: **No!

**Sai Is An Artist: **I can bring you a dragon?

**Kiba Inuzuka: **What..?

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Don't listen to Sai, he's weird.

**Sai Is An Artist: **Thank you, dickless.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **It wasn't a compliment, and I'm not dickless!

**Kiba Inuzuka: **C'mon guys.. Someone help me find Akamaru..:/

* * *

**Naruto Loves Ramen Uzumaki **has a dick.

**Ino Yamanaka likes this.**

**Comments: **

**Sakura Haruno: **Ino, why'd you like this status?D:

**Ino Yamanaka: **;)

**Shino Aburame: **Why? He got it in.

**Shikamaru Nara: **Troublesome..

**Shino Aburame: **Why?

**Sasuke Uchiha: **It's not okay when you do it, tch.

**Shino Aburame: **Why not? I'm always left out.

**Sakura Haruno: **Really, Ino-pig? With Naruto? You knew Hinata liked him!

**Ino Yamanaka: **He was pretty..;) And he's not dickless.

**Sai Is An Artist: **He is dickless.

**Ino Yamanaka: **Why are you complaining? You got it innnnn!;D

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Someone please help me look for him..

**Sai Is An Artist: **What do you mean I got it in? Are you referring to when I woke up and you were on top of me without clothing?

**Ino Yamanaka: **You were sleeping..?

**Inoichi Yamanaka: **Ino. Come home, now.

**Sakura Haruno: **Lol, Ino's a rapist and she's in trouble!

**Ino Yamanaka: **Yes daddy. Oh fuck you forehead! You're just mad cos Sasuke didn't get it in!

**Sakura Haruno: **He did too get it in!;)

**Shino Aburame: **Everyone is ignoring me. Why? I have no idea.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Hinata likes me..?D:

* * *

**Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hyuga are in a relationship.**

**Sakura Haruno, Tenten, and five others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sakura Haruno: **It's about time!(:

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Is anyone gonna help me find Akamaru..?:(

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **I officially have a Facebook! Naruto's bout to get it innnnn!;D

**Hinata Hyuga: **Blushes profusely..

**Neji Hyuga: **Hinata, stop blushing! Where are you going?!

**Neji Hyuga: **What are those noises coming from your room?!

**Neji Hyuga: **Hinata?

**Hinata Hyuga: **S-Sorry Neji-nii.. I was talking to Naruto..

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **What kind of noises did you hear Hyuga?!:D

**Neji Hyuga: **Squealing. Shouts of things like, "Oh yes!" Why?

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **Guess what?

**Neji Hyuga: **What?

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **He got it innnn!;)

**Shikamaru Nara: **Troublesome. He got it in?

**Naruto Uzumaki: **I got it innnn!;D

**Hinata Hyuga: **Faints..

**Neji Hyuga: **I'm going to murder you with a spork, Uzumaki. Your death will be very slow, and very painful.

* * *

**Hana Inuzuka **is completely distraught. She just found Kiba in his room, dead.. :(

**No one likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Itachi Uchiha: **I send my condolences. Oh, and Sasuke and I got a new dog.

**Hana Inuzuka: **Thank you, Itachi..:/ Oh, what's it's name?

**Itachi Uchiha: **Akamaru.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I love Kiba, so that was very hard to do, lol. I wish to clarify that everything I write is for the sake of comedy, and I'm not making fun of suicide or anything like that.


	6. Facebook Madness! Akatsuki Again!

**Chapter Six: Facebook Madness! Akatsuki Again?!**

**Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I don't own Naruto at all. Or you'd know. Ya know?**

**Author's Note: Writing these is just too much fun. I realize some chapters might not be as funny as others, and some may be offensive, but that's comedy, bro.**

* * *

**Kisame RawrImaShark and Konan PaperAngel are in a relationship.**

**Itachi Uchiha and Deidara Is A Bang like this.**

**Comments:**

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **The paper bitch?! I thought she was Pein-sama's! And sharky?! Dafuq.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **You just b jelous.

**Sasori Akasuna: **Good job, Konan. You picked the only illiterate person in our gang.

**Itachi Uchiha: **He was raised by sharks, Sasori. He's lucky he can speak.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Shrks b goin hard 2, Tachi. Wtch yur bck.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **I thought this was kind of cute, yeah. Until Kisame started typing, un.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Fuk u.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Thts y yu aint reply boi.

**Sasori Akasuna: **We don't need to return your insults. Your insulting yourself by using that Jashin awful grammar.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **FUCK YEAH! JASHIN WORSHIP UP IN THIS BITCH!

**Sasori Akasuna: **Tch. Jashin-sama told me to let you know he's not paying for your hair gel anymore.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **What?! But my fucking Mom said she wasn't buying it for me anymore no matter what! Jashin-sama fucking promised!

**Itachi Uchiha: **He's using all of his resources to fix my blindness and help Sasori with his puppets. You're old news.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **FUCK YOU GUYS! I'M TELLING KAKUZU YOU STOLE HIS MONEY!

**Sasori Akasuna: **Itachi, I suggest we find a place to lay low for a while.

**Itachi Uchiha: **I agree.

**Kakuzu GetDatMoney: **Bring back my money, now.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Wut r yu guise tlkin bout?

**Konan PaperAngel: **Kisame, why are you in my room?

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **He's getting it innnnnn! I mean, fucking you, Konan.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Oh sht

**Konan PaperAngel: **And why the fuck does it say we're in a relationship?!

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Itachi sve meh

**Itachi Uchiha: **Currently on the run from an angry Kakuzu. Kinda busy, ask my foolish little brother.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **It b 2 lte

**Sasori Akasuna: **What?

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Why did Konan borrow some of my clay, yeah?

**Sasori Akasuna: **Lol!

* * *

**Kisame RawrImaShark and Konan PaperAngel are no longer in a relationship.**

**Deidara Is A Bang likes this.**

* * *

**Konan PaperAngel **is wondering if anyone would like to come over for some shark stew.

**Sasori Akasuna and Pein Is A God like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sasori Akasuna: **Kakuzu found out Hidan was the one who took his money. Itachi and I will be over shortly.

**Pein Is A God: **No you won't. Only I can eat Konan's cooking. For I am God.

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **JASHIN IS THE ONLY GOD! Sorry, Leader-sama.

**Pein Is A God: **No, Hidan. I am the only God. You should already know that.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **My clay is my god, yeah. Konan why are you cooking naked, un?

**Pein Is A God: **WHAT?

* * *

**Itachi Uchiha **is waiting on Konan's cooking, enjoying the view, and ignoring Leader-sama's orders. Cos his allegiances belong to Jashin and Konoha. Uchiha's rule. Hn.

**Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, and fifteen other's like this.**

**Comments:**

**Pein Is A God: **Itachi, tell Konan to cover herself. That's an order.

**Itachi Uchiha: **Not happening.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **My nose won't stop bleeding, un!

**Pein Is A God: **Sasuke, you liked this, no? There's an open spot for an Uchiha is our gang, would you like to join?

**Sasuke Uchiha: **What are the rules?

**Pein Is A God: **Obey my every demand.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Are you going to try and rape me?

**Pein Is A God: **No, Zetsu might try and eat you though.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Fine with me.

**Sasori Akasuna: **Seeing Konan like this makes me feel like a real boy again.

**Kakashi Hatake: **Nice view, isn't it?

**Sasori Akasuna: **Yes, it is. Who are you?

**Kakashi Hatake: **Friends of Itachi's.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Where are you, yeah?

**Kakashi Hatake: **Outside in a tree.

**Jiraiya The Perverted Master: **This is so going in my new book.

**Konan PaperAngel: **Who wants to get it in?

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **I WANNA FUCKING GET IT IN! I NEVER GET IT IN!

**Konan PaperAngel: **Too old.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **I want too, yeah.

**Konan PaperAngel: **You're a girl, aren't you?

**Deidara Is A Bang: **I fucking hate my life, un.D:

**Sasori Akasuna: **I will.

**Konan PaperAngel: **You give wood a new meaning, guess I'll try it out. Winks.

**Kakashi Hatake: **Kinky. Any room for a one eyed pervert with some mad skills?

**Konan PaperAngel: **The more the merrier.;)

**Pein Is A God: **God will join as well. He wishes to "get it in".

**Konan PaperAngel: **My dead body fetish disappeared the moment you actually considered the fact that I might actually date Kisame.

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha has left the group: Oto is for little boys!**

**Itachi Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki like this.**

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha has joined the group: Akatsuki.**

**Itachi Uchiha and Pein Is A God like this.**

**Comments:**

**Orochimaru Is A Snake: **Where are you going, Sasuke-kunnnn? I need that body!;)

**Pein Is A God: **He's mine now, Orochimaru.

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Hissss.

**Kabuto Yakushi: **You've still got me, Orochimaru-sama!

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Who are you again?

**Kabuto Yakushi: **Kabuto! Your most loyal follower!

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Oh. I thought you died.

**Kabuto Yakushi: **I'm by your side all day, everyday!

**Orochimaru The Snake: **What a great impression you've made.

**Kabuto Yakushi: **Cries..

**Itachi Uchiha: **Good to see you've joined us, foolish little brother.

**Pein Is A God: **Where'd you go, Uchiha?

**Itachi Uchiha: **Uh.. Hn.

**Pein Is A God: **What's that supposed to mean?

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **He was fucking getting it in, Leader-sama. Paper bitch fucking made me leave, and him and Sasori fucking got it in!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Itachi! I'll kill you!

* * *

**Sasori Akasuna and Itachi Uchiha have been kicked out of the group: Akatsuki.**

**Sasuke Uchiha and Pein Is A God like this.**

* * *

**Itachi Uchiha, Sasori Akasuna, and Konan PaperAngel have joined the group: Itachi, Konan, and Sasori.. Bosses of themselves! Jashin loves us the most!**

**Sasori Akasuna likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **Fuck you guys! I'm fucking melting! Jashin abandoned me!

**Sasori Akasuna: **Lol.

**Itachi Uchiha: **Hn.

**Konan PaperAngel: **Bye, Hidan!(:

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **FUCK YOU ALL!

**Kakuzu GetDatMoney: **Somebody's gonna pay for all this fucking Hidan juice on my carpet!

**Konan PaperAngel: **That's what she said.

* * *

**Author's Note: Lol, that is all.**


	7. Facebook Madness! Ultimatum!

**Chapter Seven: Facebook Madness! Ultimatum!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and Facebook aren't mine.**

**Author's Note: I'm still thoroughly entertained by this series of oneshots. It makes me laugh.**

* * *

**Kakashi Hatake posted on Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki's Wall: **

Naruto, I'm here to give you an Ultimatum.

**Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno like this.**

**Comments:**

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Uh.. What's that, Kakashi-sensei?

**Kakashi Hatake: **I'm going to tell you do something, and threaten you with certain consequences that will come into effect if the requirements of my demand aren't met.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Say that again, In English. Er.. Japanese, whatever. Stupid English fanfiction.

**Kakashi Hatake: **You're going to do what I tell you, or I'll never treat you to Ramen again.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Oh shit! This is serious then, believe it! I'll do what you want me too!

**Kakashi Hatake: **That's what I like to hear! Now, what I want you to do is.. Get Sasuke a girlfriend.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Uh, why?

**Sasuke Uchiha: **I can see everything you're saying.

**Kakashi Hatake: **I know, that just makes it easier! Sasuke's father has suspicions that Sasuke may be.. well, gay.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **My father reads gay Icha Icha books, and so do you, Kakashi. So.. You're the gay ones.

**Kakashi Hatake: **I'm not gay. I can't speak for your father, and where the hell did Naruto go?

* * *

**Naruto Uzumaki **is now accepting girlfriend applications for Sasuke Uchiha! You have to post a reason he should date you, whether or not he'd be able to get ittt innn!;), your worst fear, best quality, and well.. That's it! Begin!

**Kakashi Hatake likes this.**

**Comments: **

**Sasuke Uchiha: **I'm going to murder you, loser. I did not approve of this blasphemy.

**Itachi Uchiha: **Just accept it, foolish little brother! Maybe you'll find someone suitable!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn. Whatever.

**Kushina Uzumaki:**

Reason: I can cook. Like, I'm pretty. Uh, I'm cool.

Can he get it in? Like, hell fuckin' yeah he can get it in!;D

Worst Fear: Minato coming back to life or Mikoto finding out that like, I'm trying to hook up with her son!

Best quality: Like uh, my boobs? Or like, my hair. Only Minato liked that though, hmm...

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **MOM?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, what? He's fuckin' hot.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Application under consideration.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **FUCK YOU SASUKE! I'll KILL YOU!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **It was your idea, believe it.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I hate you so much, believe it.

**Kushina Uzumaki: **I better be under consideration! Like, I'll teach you things no one should ever learn!;)

**Sasuke Uchiha: **;)

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I FUCKING HATE YOU!D:

**Tenten:**

Reason: Cos I like sharp stuff, and so do you, so hey! Let's go out!:D

Can he get it in? Uh, duh!

Worst Fear: Losing my shiny thing..

Best Quality: Mah buns!

**Neji Hyuga: **Tenten, what's the meaning of this?

**Tenten: **Oh fuck you, Hyuga.

**Neji Hyuga: **Hn, whatever.

**Temari Loves Fans:**

Reason: I'm more mature than any of your little fan girls.(:

Can he get it in? Well, yeah. As long as he doesn't find the effort, 'troublesome'. Tch.

Worst fear? Gaara.

Best quality? He'll have to find out.;)

**Gaara Of The Sand: **Uchiha. You better not lay a hand on my sister.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Threat recognized, and then disregarded. Application under consideration.

**Gaara Of The Sand: **I'll kill you.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn.

**Anko Hates Snake:**

Reason: I like to lick things!;)

Can he get it in? If he can handle me! Hint. Kakashi. Hint.:P

Worst fear? Pedophile-sama. Shudders.

Best quality? Bitch, I'm Anko!:D

**Sasuke Uchiha: **We have something in common. Application under consideration.

**Kakashi Hatake: **Anko, you wound me.:/

**Anko Hates Snake: **You failed me test of extreme sexual pain!D:

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Application denied.

**Anko Hates Snake: **Goddammit..

**Sakura Haruno:**

Reason: I've been in love with Sasuke-kun for years!3

Can he get it in? Blushes.. I've always wanted him to be my first..

Worst fear? Sasuke-kun leaving me again!D:

Best Quality: My boobs!

**Ino Yamanaka: **Cough. Liar. Cough.

**Sakura Haruno: **Fuck off, Ino-pig!D:

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Application under consideration.

**Sakura Haruno: **Really?!:D

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn.

**Hinata Hyuga:**

Reason: W-Well.. Sasuke-kun is quite h-handsome..

Can he get it in? Faints..

Worst fear? Being scolded by father..

Best quality: Um.. I-I kind of like my eyes..

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Hinata..? Why..?D:

**Hinata Hyuga: **Y-You never notice me, Naruto-kun.. I've moved on..

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Daddy issues! Get it innnnn!;D

**Hinata Hyuga: **Faints..

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Application under consideration.

**Karin Uchiha:**

Reason: Sasuke-kun is mine and mine alone!

Can he get it in? Any time he wants!;)

Worst fear? Being rejected by Sasuke-kun!

Best quality? Every fucking thing!

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **Karin, he rejects you every fucking day. Get a life.:D

**Karin Uchiha: **Fuck off, sharky.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Karin has been blocked, tch. Application denied.

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **Hell yes! Not getting it innnn!xD

**Ino Yamanaka:**

Reason: I'm completely hot, and Sasuke wants my body!

Can he get it in? Who can't get it in!;D

Worst fear? Um.. Being beat by forehead?

Best quality: My boobies! This isn't a lie, unlike foreheads statement!^^

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Application denied.

**Ino Yamanaka: **On what grounds?D:

**Sasuke Uchiha: **You admitted to being a whore, I despise you, and I wanted to make your worst fear come true. You've just been beaten by Sakura.

**Sakura Haruno: **Cha!

**Ino Yamanaka: **Sighs. I hate everything.:/

**Shizune:**

Reason: I'm a doctor.;)

Can he get it in? He better get it in!

Worst fear? The wrath of Tsunade-sama.

Best quality? My figure. My naked, figure.;)

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **You're thirty-one Shizune-chan!

**Shizune: **That doesn't mean I can't have some fun!;)

**Sakura Haruno: **I'm scarred..

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Application under consideration.

**Shizune: **YES!

**Orochimaru The Snake:**

Reason: I can do terrible things to Sasuke-kun's body.

Can he get it in? But of course. Anything for Sasuke-kun.;)

Worst fear? Dying without getting inside Sasuke-kun's body..D:

Best quality? My snake.:D

**Sasuke Uchiha: **I'm fucking blocking you.

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Okay Sasuke-kun. I'll be over later.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Itachi!

**Itachi Uchiha: **The anti-Pedophile-sama traps are all in place, foolish little brother.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn.

* * *

**Three days later.. **

**Sasuke Uchiha is in a relationship with Kushina Uzumaki.**

**Kakashi Hatake, Itachi Uchiha, and one hundred seven others like this.**

**Comments: **

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MOM?!

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, hell motha fuckin' yeah, bro! I'm bout to get laid!

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Please tell me this is a joke..

**Sasuke Uchiha: **It's not a joke, tch.

**Forty minutes later..**

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Mom, why is Sasuke here?! Why is he following you up to your room..? Why do I hear weird noises?!

* * *

**Three hours later..**

**Kushina Uzumaki **is like, fucking completely satisfied! HE got it innnn!;)

* * *

**Five months later..**

**Kushina Uchiha created an event: Baby Shower!**

**Sakura Haruno, Kiba Inuzuka, and three others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I'm gonna fucking kill myself.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Believe it?

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Fuck you, bastard.

**Kushina Uchiha and Sasuke Uchiha are attending the event: Naruto's Funeral, with three hundred fifty six others.**

* * *

**Author's Note: Haha, hahahaha. Lol!**


	8. Facebook Madness! Random Madness!

**Chapter Eight: Facebook Madness! Random Madness!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and Facebook aren't in my list of things to own.**

**Author's Note: So.. If anyone has any idea's for oneshots, let me know. I'm open to suggestions for this series.:P**

* * *

**Shikamaru Nara **is not understanding how women can be so troublesome..

**Neji Hyuga, Shikaku Nara, and fourteen others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Temari Loves Fans: **Troublesome?! I'll fucking you show you troublesome!

**Sakura Haruno: **Sighs. What'd he do now?O.o

**Temari Loves Fans: **I FOUND HIM IN BED WITH INO!

**Sakura Haruno: **The fuck..? Why would he..?

**Shikamaru Nara: **Troublesome..

**Kiba Inuzuka: **He got it innnnn!;D But why'd you do it, bro?

**Shikamaru Nara: **I did nothing. I woke up, and Ino was in my bed.

**Sai Is An Artist: **It seems she a knack for doing that.

**Temari Loves Fans: **You're a liar! Liar liar liar! You were wide awake!

**Ino Yamanaka: **No, he was asleep..;)

**Temari Loves Fans: **Oh fuck off, whore!

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Yo, bitch! Don't call Ino a whore!

**Gaara Of The Sand: **Stay out of this, dog boy.

**Ino Yamanaka: **I'm not a whore!D: Forehead, tell her I'm not a whore!

**Sakura Haruno: **Cough. Whore. Cough. Love you, Ino-pig.(:

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Mind your own business sand fucker!

**Gaara Of The Sand: **My sister is my business.

**Temari Loves Fans: **I think we need to take care of some whores and some dogs, little brother.

**Ino Yamanaka: **Fuck you slut! Shikamaru wants me! Me!:D In all my naked glory! Forehead, not the best defense.

**Sakura Haruno: **I wasn't aware that I was trying to defend you, pig.:P

* * *

**Suigetsu Hozuki **is wondering why stupid sluts obsess over the Uchiha. O.o

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki, Karin Uchiha, and four others like this.**

**Comments: **

**Itachi Uchiha: **Uchiha's are god like, and very worthy of being obsessed over.

**Pein Is A God: **I am the only God.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **You must be referring to fan girls. You can have some if you like, they're annoying. Tch.

**Karin Uchiha: **Wait.. This includes me doesn't it?! Does it shark boy?!

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **Uchiha's are not God like. They're stupid, and they look like girls. Kind of like that Deidara guy. I'd gladly take some fan girls off your hands.;) No Karin. Neverrr. (Note my sarcasm.)

**Deidara Is A Bang: **I hate everything, un! Why does everyone think I'm a girl?D:

**Kakashi Hatake: **Hey there cutie.;)

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Fuck my life, yeah!D:

**Pein Is A God: **That's right. Not Uchiha's, me. I am God.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Take your pick. I have plenty.

**Karin Uchiha: **Oh fuck you shark boy!D: You're just mad cos you want my goodies!

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **No one wants your 'goodies'. Whatever those may be, babe. You're just nasty!:D

**Karin Uchiha: **I'LL KILL YOU! NO ONE CALLS ME NASTY! Sasuke-kun wants my goodies.;)

**Sasuke Uchiha: **I do not in fact want your 'goodies', or anything that has to do with you. You're annoying.

**Itachi Uchiha: **Stop fan girling, please. No one likes you.

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **And who the fuck's this guy with a god complex?

* * *

**Kisame RawrImaShark **iz lookin fo sme hunies 2 chill wit who intrsted ?

**No one likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **Can I have your toy sword?!:D

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Naw bruh bck off me swrd boi!

**Itachi Uchiha: **Why can't you spell? Did you get brain damage when that girl beat the shit out of you?

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Naw du! Ima bawse spelin dnt yu kn?!

**Killer B: **Whoa there sharky, slow it down! You're by far the worst speller in town!

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Everybody say ho!

**Suigetsu Hozuki: **Ho! Now gimme that sword, yo!

**Itachi Uchiha: **…... Ho. Tch.

**Killer B: **Give my dude the sword, it's the only way! We'll send you to literature class for a day!

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Wht r u guise tlkin bout pimp slice dawgs

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **My man B's spittin' makes ya lose your mind! Now I'll say 'believe it' one more time!

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Meh swrd is meh lfe ya feel meh du? I cnt gve ite 2 n one maine. Ya kn? Iz mah life!

**Killer B: **Stupid shark don't understand nothin'! Gimme a yo and help me tell him somethin'!

**Shino Aburame: **Yo. Buggy up in this hoe. Give us the sword, we'll give the dough. Why? Cos we're killing this bro.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **No..

* * *

**Kushina Uzumaki **is like, whoa! Like, I just bought this thing that mixes stuff for me! Like, fuckin' slushies and stuff!

**Mikoto Uchiha likes this.**

**Comments: **

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Hn. I see where Naruto gets his stupidity.

**Kakashi Hatake: **Sasuke, respect your.. Lmao. I can't be serious at a time like this. Seriously, Kushina?

**Minato Namikaze: **Honey, I think you need to lie down. You're getting the kitchen covered in various food products.

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, bro! Sasuke, what's that supposed to mean?! Kakashi, lol. I don't know what you're talkin' bout but I'm laughing, too! Minato, you look like a fuckin' girl! Ahahaha!

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Now that you mention it.. Dad does kind of look like a girl..

**Minato Namikaze: **Please don't start with this shit..

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Oh my fucking God?! Right?! Like, I thought he was a girl until he talked! Like, it was still doubtful then! I wasn't fully convinced until he showed me his package. Mmmm.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **What..? Oh! Ew, Mom! The fuck?!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **This is so disturbing.

**Kakashi Hatake, Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki, and three others like this comment.**

**Anko Hates Snake: **I love this women! Kushina, why haven't I realized how brilliant you are til now?! We can do terrible things together!;)

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, hell fuckin' yeah bitch! Let's fuck shit up!

**Kakashi Hatake: **Mother Of God..

**Minato Namikaze: **I say we find a shelter to move into.

**Kakashi Hatake: **I second that notion. Shudders.

* * *

**Author's Note: Lol, I kind of like this chapter, but.. I'm running out of idea's!D: So, suggestions are very welcome.**


	9. Facebook Madness! Hangover Madness!

**Facebook Madness! Hangover madness!**

**Disclaimer: No. I don't own it! Put that knife down! For serious, tho'. I don't own Naruto or Facebook.**

**Author's Note: So like, still open to suggestions. My idea generator is running on empty, bro.**

* * *

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki **thinks that party like night was fucking insane! Be-lieve it, noobs!:D

**Kiba Inuzuka, Ino Yamanaka, and seventy four others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Kiba Inuzuka: **Dude.. Everyone fuckin' got it in last night. It was pure awesomeness!^^

**Ino Yamanaka: **I totally agree babe.;)

**Hinata Hyuga: **B-babe..?

**Ino Yamanaka: **Tada! Surprise, Hinata! Kiba and I are an item, as of last night!;)

**Hinata Hyuga: **O-Oh.. So that's how it is..

**Kiba Inuzuka: **I uh.. I gotta go feed Akamaru! Later!

**Hinata Hyuga: **H-How could you do this to me..?

**Hana Inuzuka: **Kiba, Akamaru's not even here right now. He's at the kennel. What happened, Hinata dearest?

**Sai Is An Artist: **The mutt had sex with bashful bitch, then ran off with beautiful. Dickless was distraught.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **I'm NOT dickless, Sai! I have a dick! Cos I'm a man! A manly man!

**Hana Inuzuka: **Kiba did what?! He's so dead.

**Hinata Hyuga: **I-I.. Thank you, Hana..

**Sai Is An Artist: **You are dickless.

**Hana Inuzuka: **Oh no fucking problem, love. Ino-whore, stay the hell away from Kiba. I'm sure he wouldn't want any diseases.

**Hinata Hyuga: **Y-Yeah Ino.. Leave Kiba alone.. O-Okay..?

**Ino Yamanaka: **Psh. Yeah right. Kiba loves me. ALL OF ME!;)

**Hinata Hyuga: **U-Uh.. You need to l-leave him alone, b-bitch..

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Hinata grew balls! Wait.. That's not good..

**Hinata Hyuga: **W-Wanna go out, Naruto-kun..?

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Hell yeah I do!

* * *

**Sasuke Uchiha **wants to know if anyone knows what happened last night?

**Sakura Haruno, Kakashi Hatake, and fourteen others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Orochimaru The Snake: **I know what happened, Sasuke-kunnnn.;P

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Oh God.. No..

**Orochimaru The Snake: **Last night you were saying, "Oh God Yes!".;)

**Sasuke Uchiha: **No! That's not true! That's impossible!

**Kakashi Hatake: **Sasuke, as much as I'm enjoying your reaction, that is strangely comparable to a Star Wars reference. I need to tell you, nothing happened with Orochimaru but.. I didn't know you had it in you.;P

**Sasuke Uchiha: **How relieving. What the fuck are you talking about?

**Anko Hates Snake: **Is Pedophile-sama gone? God, I hope so. Well, little Sasuke. You did some pretty scrumptiously naughty things!;D

**Itachi Uchiha: **Foolish Little Brother, I'm proud of you.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Someone just tell me what the hell happened.

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Tachi yur brotha kn how 2 prty bruh

**Hidan JashinIsEternal: **Fuck yeah! He even converted to Jashinism!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **That explains the pendent and slicked back hair.. Why am I naked?

**Sakura Haruno: **I may have something to do with that..:D

**Anko Hates Snake: **I may also have something to do with that!^^

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, I fuckin' have something to do with that, bro!(:

**Minato Namikaze: **You better not..

**Kakashi Hatake: **I'm afraid so Minato. You may have something to do with that too, and even I may.

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Minato looks like a girl!D:

**Minato Namikaze: **I hate my life..

* * *

**Deidara Is A Bang **is wondering what I did last night, yeah..

**Kisame RawrImaShark, Suigetsu Hozuki, and four others like this.**

**Kakashi Hatake: **We had fun last night, girly.;)

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Oh shit, un..

**Kisame RawrImaShark: **Dei has sme sml tits du!

**Kakashi Hatake: **That didn't stop her from making them work!;D

**Deidara Is A Bang: **I'm not a girl, yeah!D:

**Sasori Akasuna: **I'm aware of that.

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Danna! Why the fuck didn't you tell them, hmm?!

**Sasori Akasuna: **You were enjoying yourself.

**Kakashi Hatake: **She sure was.;)

**Deidara Is A Bang: **Excuse me while I end my life, yeah!D:

**Kakashi Hatake: **Call me!;P

* * *

**Jiraiya The Perverted Master **finally got it in with Tsunade! New book coming soon!

**Kakashi Hatake, Shizune, and sixteen others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Tsunade Loves To Gamble: **Why are you telling lies on Facebook? I'll kill you.

**Kakashi Hatake: **Can I get the new book on pre-order?^^

**Jiraiya The Perverted Master: **Of course you can! Tsunade dear, you know you liked it!

**Tsunade Loves To Gamble: **Shizune. After the next round I win, we're going to kill Jiraiya.

**Shizune: **It's your lucky day! She never wins!:D

**Tsunade Loves To Gamble: **What was that?

**Shizune: **I said you win like Charlie Sheen!:P

**Tsunade Loves To Gamble: **That's what I thought.^.^

* * *

**Sakura Haruno is in a relationship with Shino Aburame.**

**Kiba Inuzuka likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Sakura! What the fuck?!

**Sakura Haruno: **I love Shino. Why? Everyone always hurts his feeling, he needed someone to love him.

**Sasuke Uchiha: **How'd you get her password, tch.

**Shino Aburame: **I didn't. Why? This is actually Sakura, and she loves me.

**Sakura Haruno: **Why? He got it in.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Oh say it ain't so Sakura! I don't wanna believe this!D:

**Shino Aburame: **Believe it. Why? It's the truth.

* * *

**Five hours later..**

**Sakura Haruno and Shino Aburame are no longer in a relationship.**

**Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki, and fourteen others like this.**

* * *

**Sakura Haruno **is going to kill a bug bitch! -**With Shino Aburame.**

**Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, and forty-two others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sasuke Uchiha: **What happened.

**Sakura Haruno: **I woke up in Shino's bed! He said he put me to sleep using some weird bug, did a creepy cackle, and then fled the scene!D:

**Shino Aburame: **Why? To give you time to come to terms with our love.

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **Sakura's gonna murder you, Shino! Go hide!

**Shino Aburame: **No, she loves me. Why? I implanted my seed in her.

**Sakura Haruno: **You did what?! I'll kill you! I'm gonna fucking murder you!

**Sasuke Uchiha: **Tch, I'll handle this.

**Shino Aburame: **I meant that I planted a bug in her eye..

**Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki: **That's just as bad! I think..

* * *

**Two hours later..**

**Itachi Uchiha **is having a celebratory dinner. His foolish little brother just came home covered in blood. Clearly having murdered someone. A glorious day this is.

**Fugaku Uchiha, Madara Uchiha, and four others like this.**

**Comments:**

**Fugaku Uchiha: **That's my boy!

**Madara Uchiha: **He takes after his good old uncle!

**Orochimaru The Snake: **I taught him well!;)

**Kakashi Hatake: **I take no credit for this.

**Anko Hates Snake: **I take allllll the credit!;P

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, give me some fuckin' credit too, bro! I raise all the girly men into bosses!;D

**Minato Namikaze: **Fuck off.. I'm leaving you.

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, go the fuck ahead, bro! I questioned my sexuality with you anyway! You man girl! I'll just get with Sasuke!;D

**Minato Namikaze: **You do that. I can't handle this craziness anymore.

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, you told me you liked it!D:

**Minato Namikaze: **I lied..

**Kushina Uzumaki: **You're really gonna leave me?! Like, I'll fucking cut it off!

**Minato Namikaze: **Put that knife down. We can talk this out.

**Kushina Uzumaki: **Like, uh! Fuck you bastard! You're gonna die, bro!

**Mikoto Uchiha: **I'll be calling a therapist first thing in the morning. All of you twisted little fuckers need help. I'll end my mistakes, but you'll have to fix the others on your own, with help from said therapist.

* * *

**Kiba Inuzuka, Sakura Haruno, and three thousand four hundred eighty two others are attending:**

**The joint funeral service for Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, Minato Namikaze, Naruto LovesRamen Uzumaki, Fugaku Uchiha, Madara Uchiha, Shino Aburame, Hidan JashinIsEternal, and seventeen others.**

* * *

**Author's Note: I NEED IDEA'S!D:**


End file.
